First Tri Recap

It's been a while. So I'll play catch up bullet style. But first pics of our sweet little "alien".

All of that makes of this pooch.... lucky you. it wont upload. actually it is lucky me. i look huge in the photo and am really regretting skipping the gym today. that was a mistake.

• I don't know what to call the baby. "It" sounds too impersonal or rude. "Peanut" and "bean" are perhaps a little cheesy for me. I was calling "it" by "he" or "him", as i was positive, as was my husband, that it was a boy. But i was left questioning it when we heard the heartbeat and as the predictions go it sounded like a girl. Now i don't want to call him by boy pronouns, as i don't want there to be any gender confusion... I'm at a loss for a name at this point.


• The first two ultrasound photos freak me out a little bit. The head looks a little alien like, and i was hoping to see more proportion at this point. Like eyelids and thumb sucking. I know, i know, i have been reading the books... way too early for all that, but still. I want more baby, less huge head. However, i do kinda get a flutter when i look at the last photo as i can see eye sockets and legs and perhaps the nose. That little bit of baby looks so much sweeter and excitement starts to kick in.


• I'm still too scared to plan for the nursery. i still feel like buying anything or planning too far ahead will only end in disappointment. i am not superstitious per say, but i don't want to jinx us. i am just now getting comfortable with no longer saying "guest room" but nursery instead.


• i just found out tonight that you're pregnant for 10 months and not 9 months. Thanks Courtney.


• the idea of getting huge freaks me out. but i cant wait to be showing. this comes and goes. sometimes i like that i am not showing yet. that no one at the gym knows i am walking on the treadmill because i am not suppose to be running during this pregnancy, though i still try to sneak some running minutes in. but at the same time i know that as my belly gets bigger the sooner i will get to feel some baby movements, and that is what i am most looking forward to. out of the whole pregnancy experience this is the one that i have wanted to experience the most. what does the right hook feel like from the inside??


• i haven't put lotion on since finding out i am pregnant. not one drop of cocoa butter. somewhere in the back of my mind i wonder if perhaps i will get stretch marks because of it, but not enough to actually do it.


• the first trimester was not all that enjoyable for me. i thought i would instantly feel pregnant. not so much. i am lucky though, i have not been sick at all. the most i have felt is some sickness in the morning before i got out of bed. and it wasn't every morning. i didn't feel so much sick, as just off, and not quite right. and the nausea if i didn't have something in my stomach...that was bad, that would really get me gagging.


• the worse though was the exhaustion. how do moms of one do it again and again? i could come home from work and nap, but i wonder how does one make it through the day with a two year old running around?!?! we ate out more during the first tri then we probably have in the whole last year. the thought of going to the grocery store made me curl up on the couch. i think i went twice. my awesome husband did the rest.


• but besides the physical side, the emotional side. perhaps it was the mood swings, but i worried a lot. a lot more then i thought i would. are we ready for this? i can barely handle being tired now, can i do it will a baby waking up ALL the time?? what if it's not a fairy tale ending? what if my child____________? fill in the blank. any worry you can think of, i have had. i teach, i work with a lot of kids. it can make a person think shallow thoughts and some really deep thoughts.


• in the end though, i have made it through the first 12 weeks. we have heard a heartbeat. things look and sound great. and my faith is in God. His timing, this child, all in his hands in his perfect plan. i know this. i shouldn't worry. i will try really hard not to.


• the reason i started this blog was in hopes that one day i would be blogging about my baby. i have really slacked. there is so much going on, but as i look at everyone else's blog that i find inspiration from, i suddenly feel like i really don't have anything interesting. but i will be doing better. i will also be putting a belly shot up monthly, at least until i feel like it is indecent exposure and worry about being flagged. but i know my MIL will really appreciate getting to stay in touch with the pictures and thoughts as the next months progress.


• speaking of worried, i am semi-nervous for hosting the next coffee gathering for my friends. i love getting together, but stress about it every time for some unknown ridiculous reason.