Monday, October 12, 2009

In Response

to the comment left on my last post. I decided to actually post it, since i really do need to update anyway. So

1. i have kept my blog a secret so i could complain and feel sorry for myself, and not worry about my friends thinking i was the biggest complainer of all.

2. I really need to update the fertility issue/progress since that is why i starting blogging, after finding encouragement through other girls experience and blogs. For some reason actually typing it is hard. But here is my update:

Finished all the testing part and started on IUI's. I have done 3 total, and am currently in the much dreaded and hated TWW for my fourth round. It is seriously a mourning after every single failed IUI. It is definitely worse, for me, during a medicated cycle then just a normal one. I mourn something i have never had, and it is crazy to me. My life has not drastically changed at all, yet i feel like i am useless for one day of misery. I expect more out of myself, i should be used to this. i shouldn't be crying on the phone to my mom each time, but yet somehow i find myself doing just that, but then i am over it. I am thinking of switching doctors and doing a couple more IUI's with clomid, ultrasounds, and a trigger shot (my last dr. did not do ultrasounds or trigger shots. Except this last one I did ask him to do one and my husband ended up having to give the shot to me at midnight... ha. I laugh just thinking of his panic.). If all else fails, we will start IVF in January. I am not super excited at the thought. I never thought i would experience that, but no one does. If it does not work, we will start the adoption process. At first adoption scared the crap out of me, and i never thought i could do it, but God has changed my heart, and i find myself wanting to be in a win-win situation with adoption. Each person comes away loved and loving. No matter what, i think i would like to adopt. Ideally for me it would be biological child then adoption, but i am learning not to plan too far ahead.

3. I really am not that creative. I am a copy-cat. That whole monkey see, monkey do thing? Yeah, that is me. I went to MistleToe Market this weekend and was trying to sneak pictures of things i though that i could make. I am under no illusion that it will look professional, but i love trying. Keeps me busy. Crocheting... hmmm. I haven't done a whole lot with this talent. I should probably pick it up and start again. I never could make a baby hat like i wanted so i cant teach Reba that, but if you wanted to know how to make a coaster...i'm your woman.

4. My goal this week is to make pumpkin cookies, or buy them, and visit friends during my fall break. I am a lazy, pathetic person during the week. I used to tease a friend about going to bed so early...I take it all back! I'm sorry!

5. I want to give a shout out to my plastic from high school. She now lives down the street from me. when i first moved in, i was full of dread, because i knew we had mutual friends and would eventually run into each other. You know Taylor Swift's new song "she's cheer captain, and i'm on the bleachers..." that one? Emily was the cheerleader, i was the the bench warmer. Eventually we did run into each other, and i was super excited that she even knew my name. It turns out Emily was a nice plastic, or perhaps i wasn't as dorky as i thought... though i am going with the first option, and actually came to a swim meet or two. And she has seriously turned into be a blessing to me. I am very thankful for her friendship. She is the nicest plastic i know!! She also makes the best pumpkin cookies ever, and cannot wait for the recipe!! Hint Hint!! I am also looking forward to our ten year reunion this summer....

6. I love posts with pictures and not so much writing, i like the whole a picture is worth a thousand words, and i would rather look at them then read them (unless it is from the Twilight Series), but i couldn't think of any picture that would really fit with the above mentioned, that you would be interested in seeing. So i will just leave with one that has nothing to do with my post at all, except that i hope to see some of these girls this fall break!