Boston

The longing in her eyes is the leash I have dangling over her head. :)

LOVE

W are looking for a new couch. When we first got married, we had absolutely no furniture. And we had a little money that needed to go a long way. That being said, we got micro suede couch and love seat in a style that we liked. Since getting two dogs and moving, it is evident that the time is now. I am absolutely loving the high "shelter arms" on this couch from Restoration Hardware. It looks cozy and inviting. We don't pull of "formal living" and I think this gives more of a cottage/country vibe. I am having trouble deciding what color of stripe to go with. Here are the options as of now. This first one my husband picked out. At first I wasn't sure because of the gray color, but I am starting to come around due to it looking so relaxed and comfy.Then there is the neutral color. I originally wanted to go with another neutral color couch because of the versatility, but with Wally... not sure it would stay clean...

Than the last is the cafe stripe. Cafe to me sounds brown, but when I look at the pic it doesn't really look that brown.Any suggestions? If I spend the money on this couch than I want to keep it forever, but knowing me I change my mind after a couple of years, and need change, this being said which one do you think would be the most versatile?

Devious

This little guy might look cute, but he is a devious trouble maker. Somewhere last night between me taking a shower and Alfie on a business call, we realized Wally was MIA. After five minutes of panic, we realized the dog had a new talent to add to his growing list of chewing up furniture and getting out of a padlocked kennel. He can open a locked storm door. Luckily he went down the path of our usual walk, and Alfie spotted him somehow in the pitch black night.



We assumed last night that the door had not been shut properly and he just poked his nose out. But today as I am cleaning I heard the door bang open, which I had just locked due to last nights little incident, and discovered Wally had broken loose again to say hi to the neighbors and numerous cars driving by. So now we know, locked or not he can and will get out. Seriously, going to start calling him Houdini! Yeah, put your ears back, I am still mad at you!!!

Since he was not cooperating for photos I got my practice in with my garden starting to bloom

Clematis- Surprised to see it blooming this year, as I thought I had killed it!

My Whirling Butterflies and Dianthus

It might not look like much, but this has come along way from huge overgrown holly bushes. My father-in-law spent his time visiting us doing home projects and gardening. More work still needs to be done, but we now lovingly refer to this as "Dimi's garden". Thanks Dimi- you are the best!!!!

Round II

First IUI was unseccessful. This sounds better to me than "failed". I go in today for an ultrasound to check for cysts from the fertility meds. If all looks good I assume I can start round 2.





UPDATE: All is well. No cysts no residual follicles. Upped the clomid dosage and ready to try again.

Weekend Project

I love having a weekend to catch up and needed projects around the house. I decided my old ugly brown door needed a face lift during spring break, but I never uploaded the pictures of it. Due in part to the fact that I got a new camera and wasn't sure exactly how to do it. I had a before picture, but I am pretty sure I deleted it to make room for some other pictures... oops, will upload pics regularly starting now. Anyway here is my "new" rustic blue door. It is kinda hard to see the sanding, but I am loving it!
This weekend we finally got around to hanging the drapes in the living room, it only took the two years we have been here. But I had been dragging my feet, not wanting to plunk down the cold hard cash on them. I had been drooling over these from Pottery Barn for forever. I needed four panels for my bay window, and if it weren't for the $119.00 price tag for each, I would probably have sucked it up.

Then last night, while the husband ditched me on our weekend grocery shopping for the Red Sox, I found in the most unexpected place, the look-alike silk drapes I have been searching for. And the best part, they only cost a whopping $16.00 a panel! Woo-Hoo! So I quickly called the hubs, had him measure the window, just to make sure and picked up the last four in my color. So where did I find these gorgeous drapes you ask? Wal-Mart!! I was so surprised. I couldn't find a picture online of them up close. Here is the before

And the after ( I don't know what I did to the lighting)

And then just one more picture that deserves some attention

And that is the end to another great weekend!

Pregnant??

Well, not yet... but the good news is we are finally done with the testing!! Yeah!! Which means, we could be there very soon. We are going be doing three rounds of IUI, due to my man hating vagina. The doctor did find some other things in the tubes, but did what could, and apparently doesn't think the rest is a problem. I start on clomid tomorrow. I will use a OPK to detect ovulation. That is the part that makes me nervous, pressure is on to read those colors. I will let them know when I see the color change, and we will go in the next day and fingers crossed, come out pregnant!!

I read that the first artificial insemination was done in 1908 using a donor sperm, which turned out to be the doctor that performed the procedure. He did not tell the husband until the wife became pregnant, and then they both decided not to tell the wife what had happened. Could this really be true?? I am skeptical. But, I do like the fact that it has been successful for over 100 years.

Anyone know anyone that has had a similar experience???

Avoidance

I have writer's block.
I have writer's block because there is only one thing I want to blog about- fertility, or the lack thereof, it is the only thing I can think about when I look at a new post.

I suppose I was hoping that if I would write about something else, this infertility issue would just disappear, or even more accurately, it would be a minor blip on the radar, a bump in the road. No one would ever have to know I was going through it, because I thought I would end up with a baby in my belly. Keep it my little secret. Of course I would tell people after the fact, just not until I was at the finish line.

Enough avoiding the topic. Here it is, all that has been going on in my head. Sorry if I sound like a whinny baby. Just give me a moment to clear my thoughts, so I can escape from writers block and put myself out there.

Even though no one has yet to say babies are not possible, they are throwing around big, scary words like tubal disease, endometriosis, IUI and worse, IVF. These words mean it will take a lot more than my husband and I to have a baby. Now there will be a room full of people. No more POAS, and thinking of ways to tell people. No more surprising my husband. No more fun in trying. And then, of course, there is the small insignificant monetary issue. No insurance coverage. My insurance stops covering infertility when they diagnose there is a problem and need some help. They pretty much say "oh, you are infact infertile...good luck with that."

I will be calling tomorrow to find out when the Laparsocopy surgery is to take place. My guess is somewhere in the next two weeks. My TWW has changed in meaning. After this surgery we will/should know what the next step is. Possible outcomes:
1. Fixed whatever made my tubes "slow moving" and free to try on our own some more.
2. Not able to fix "slow moving tubes". Will need help getting pregnant. Which means either
a. put our money on a couple rounds of IUI. Move affordable, could pay for a round or two, but not as successful as IVF OR b. move straight to IVF. and will need to figure out how to sell a kidney on the black market for funding...
3. Adoption. Not sure I am ready for this.

My husband has already come up with the solution. Ship me off to Australia to live with his parents for six months, claim residency, and then take advantage of the socialized medicine and do IVF for FREE! The free part is tempting, but don't worry, we wouldn't really do that.

I could go on, as how I still have trouble believing that this is really happening to me. I am healthy, my husband is healthy, we are young and active. Seriously. I told my mom I wasn't too worried about having tubal disease because there is no way I could actually have it, but my always positive mom throws in the "well you never know." I know she doesn't want me to be oblivious to the possiblity, but it was not helpful. I need her to be positive. (And my doctor to tell me that he would do IVF pro bono if I were to need it. Can doctors do that? They should)

Okay, I am done. For now anyway, as I cannot promise I won't have an update after surgery.

I would like to close with advice. DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT ask a magic eight ball questions. I now believe that they are pestimistic smat asses. And after some profuse shaking, it admitted it was indeed demonic.